In the Name of Allah,The Most Merciful and Most Compassionate
(While writing this post, I cried my eyes out..huu)
I was watching a drama, and came across a touching scene. To the point that I cried, remembering my situation, years ago. This scene is about a conflict of a middle child.
The misery of being the second child was always like this. Middle child all over the world would know, for the eldest, it was because they're the eldest, for the youngest, it was because they're the youngest. And the middle would have to give in to them.
There was a time when I got so jealous over my siblings, and i felt like my parents gave them more and it's unfair. I wrote a stupid letter (ya ya, i love writing letter..i'm jiwang kinda perso like that..haha), and confessed how i felt bout that..i even asked if i were really an adopted child coz i look so different from the other two siblings..My father read that and he felt devastated. Devastated! I tell you..that was the first and the last time ever, I saw him showing his sad face to me. I can still remember his sad face..it breaks my heart into pieces every time i remember it. Being the child who acted without thinking, I felt really guilty but at the same time feeling satisfied because I had delivered my honest feeling to him. Haish. And..the next day, after coming home from work, he bought me a multi-colour-pen-in-one and left me a note. Err, I've lost the note but the message sounds like this..
You're my precious daughter. I love you all the same. I am sorry if you feel sad if I give something to your brother or your sister. There will be times when I will give something to them, and there will be times when I will give something to you.. Don't be sad. I love you. (nangis T.T)
Ever since that, I tried to understand them. And I always tell myself not to get jealous any more..parents won't give all of the siblings the same thing. They give what the child needs at that particular time. My mom told me once that my younger sister was jealous over me and said,"Ibu sayang kakak lebih!". Hahaha. Just because my mom bought me some necessities before i entered my boarding school. She was a lil cute bubbly 9 years old girl. I got jealous when i was her age too ^,^
It's true.. my dear darling parents tried their best to complement our needs. And what we, the children, should never forget is that, every dad and every mom doesn't automatically become dads and moms the moment we were born. They're learning and trying to be best version of ideal dads and moms they could be.
The most wonderful habit that my parents have is that, they listen to their children. Each one of them. And instead of getting angry, they explain in the nicest way of why they're doing that. They give rationals to their actions. And that will make their children think and understand the situation better.
Seeing them being the best version of an ideal parents to me and my siblings, makes me nervous and worry.
Can i be the best version of an ideal daughter to them?
Can i really take a very good care of them when they get older, just how they took care of me..just how they took care of their sick parents?
I'm scared. Really.
I don't know if I am being a good daughter to them, but I need to. I have to. They need me as much as i need them. And even when they leave the world for the hereafter, they still need us, the children. I appreciate them so much, and I really put a great effort to make them feel happy and proud of me. One of the moment is just like today, mark the date of November 11th 2016, I've finished my study in Bachelor of Education in Visually Impairment Special Education in IPG Kampus Ilmu Khas.
I'm not really good in anything else, but one of the thing that I can do is study, therefore I'll study and learn and go to the highest level, as high as I could reach, to make them proud of me. Yeah, I was that little girl who easily got jealous, and now here I am, all grown up as a sophisticated lady (cheeeewah chewah :p).
I'm gonna be the best version of an ideal daughter to them. As much as I can. InsyaAllah.
Officially finished my study. Alhamdullilah. This would not be the first and last degree. Ya Allah, please ease my next step as a teacher of this nation.
Bi iznih, Amin!
"Mother is the students' first teacher, and teacher is the students' second mother" - Dr. Raja -